The Dulcet Tones of Barking Dogs and Snoozing Cats

I think every animal in my house has a propensity to bark at odd intervals thus scaring the crap out of everyone in the room.
The only one who doesn't bark is the cat; which really just means that she must find other methods of scaring me half to dead on a daily basis.
My sister is watching "The Craft." I can't really remember why I liked this movie so much when I was 13. I think it was the idea of someone punishing bullies by using magic.
So they recalled a bunch of Spagetti-O's recently. I feel bad for all the people screwed out of their cheap, not technically food...food.

My cat is quite possible one of the most adorable creatures on the planet.
This morning she brought me a dead bug.
It's the thought that counts, truely.
Most days she spends her time living in a cardboard printer-paper box my mom got me.
Her favorite game is to wait for people to walk past and reach out to smack them on the ankle as they walk by.
When our dog chases her she retreats back to that box, like its her safe spot during a game of tag. She'll smack our dog on the nose and be all safe and stuff because our dog is too big to get a hold of her in the box.

Perhaps my favorite time of day is when I come home. Dali always comes running down the stairs, like a dog. She runs up to me and sits and looks up and says "Hi. Feed me."
Again...it's the thought that counts.
All the dumb dogs do is eat the crotch out of my panties and ingest an entire bottle of my mom's lip stain while I'm sleeping. Or even worse bark at absolutely nothing then do laps through the house knocking over stacks of books in my room.
My favorite of course, is eating an entire roll of toilet paper and then attempting to hide in the bonus room but failing to notice the trail of toilet paper like breadcrumbs follinwbehind them.
Dogs are dumb.
I love my cat.

The Neurosis That Is My Day-To-Day Life: Zombies

I am not what you would call normal.
I woke up this morning concerned that my teeth were loose. After taking my prescribed medication (one that enables me to focus on just ONE of my mental concerns at a time) I let the dogs outside then got in the shower.
I brush my teeth in the shower. There are three reasons for that
1) It saves on water. I hate turning the faucet off and on while brushing my teeth. It also means that I won't spend an extra gallon of water trying to scrub toothpaste out of my shirt after I no-doubt spill toothpaste on it.
2) Its efficient--I'm impatient and I know that if I brush my teeth in the shower while giving my conditioner time enough to soak into my hair I will brush my teeth the requisit 3 minutes.
3) I don't have to look at myself in the mirror while I brush my teeth. I'm paranoid about spaces forming in my teeth because I'm concerned I will be ugly if there are spaces between my teeth. I also think that if there were any spaces that once I've finished brushing my teeth the spaces are gone.
Yeah I'm slightly off-center.
I have a weird relationship with zombies.
They fascinate me the way picking scabs or popping zits fascinate people.
I am utterly terrified of zombies.
Don't get me wrong. I love gore. I love violent films. I like kung fu, shoot-em ups, explosions, exploitation cinema, stabber flicks etc. I was raised on Bruce Willis, Sylvestor Stallone, Steven Seagal, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jea-Claude Van Damme, Patrick Swayze. I saw my first Billy Jack movie at age 9. I once got in trouble for asking my father the name of the movie where the guy says "Yippie Kay Yay Mother Fucker." I was 10. I adore war movies. Saving Private Ryan, The Patriot, Behind Enemy Lines, Tora Tora Tora, Glory, Red Dawn, U-571, Alexander, 300 and The Messenger

But conversely I cannot stand rape. I don't like political thrillers or anything about espionage (or at least modern espionage; the only good spy films were noir and that medium has died out, sadly).

I am terrified of zombies. The films themselves I enjoy, to a point. A lot of modern zombie enthusiasts prefer films that do very little of the "escapist" entertainment. They like to forget that its make believe. That its not really true and the living dead are just actors in really expensive make-up.

I however don't enjoy that. Because when thsoe guys go home, they just move on.
I don't.
Nightmares abound for weeks after I see a zombie child come climbing out of an undead womb. I watch in horror as a mother puts two bullets into an infected child. A man saving himself and leaving his wife to thousands of scrambling fingers brings tears to my eyes and insomnia to my nightly routine.
I cannot take myself out of the equation.
When it gets really bad I become neurotic. I begin to hide supplies in the fall-back points of my home. Bottles of bleach mysteriously appear in my bathrooms. Razor blades are taped to the backs of toilets.
Butterfly knives are sharped and rest beside my bed.

Because for me its not pretend. The "what if's" don't turn off. I my sleep schedule goes out the window. I obsessively make lists. I refuse to go out to the car for something forgotten once the sun has gone down. I turn all the lights on upstairs and don't put my back to a darkened room.

I have eased myself down. I am better than I used to be. I can watch some undead films, I can look at pictures, I can play the video games.
But I must be reassured. I must be warned. And I must know that it isn't real.

I am crazy, but managably so.
Most of the time.
But not today :)

My Morning

7:35--Am started awake by terrifying barking. Suki and Bosco decide all joggers are forthwith enemies of the empire
7:45--take medication, walk downstairs and let dogs outside. have apple juice and toast for breakfast. let dogs back in
8:00--turn on "Almost an Angel" on tv, read Helmet for My Pillow while watching the movie and enjoying my breakfast
12:00--finish my book, get up and have cheezits. let dogs out
12:15--research various items from recently finished novel: I had no idea what a Higgins Boat, Marine Raiders, Paramarines, or who General Vandergrift was. After a brief foray on Wikipedia I am sufficiently informed.
1:15--goof off on facebook
1:30--failblog and icanhavecheezburger=awesome
2:00--read my feeds and comic book updates; watching 30 minute fanfilm staring Batman. Awesome
2:30--start writing my blog for the day

I'm am thoroughly suprised how fast my day goes by. I looked up and its almost 3 pm.

Its been a good day so far though.

Have a good day!

Evening Total

7: # of different bugs I've seen in my kitchen since the beginning of June. Did I mention I hate summer?
95: The temperature outside when I got off work today. seriously? I was melting before I reached my car.
4: # of people who have complimented me on my weight loss; I rock.
( By the way, Dali is currently stalking some sort of insect at the moment. I don't change the number of different bugs I've seen though, its the same kind of bug I saw last Thursday)
3--# of episodes of The Tudors Patrick and I have left to watch on demand.
46.43--how much money I spent on groceries today
2--# of times I fell down or bumped into something today
16--# of times Patrick told me he loved me today. :)
2--# of times I've watched the second episode of the 3rd season of trueblood

Is it weird that I never get bored of watching To Catch a Predator? 
Some sex predator guy just walked in wearing a stewie t-shirt. Wow. and he sent a girl he thought was 14 a picture of his junk; what a creep. and he completely admits to everything he has done. I'm just curious as to whether he knows he's going to get arrested when he goes outside.
woops. guess not. he's started to cry.

is talking to your cat weird? Its not like i have philosophical discussions with her. Its more like "how are you?" "are you hungry?" "please put that bug down." at the moment she's watching me type.
Cats make good friends; at least my cat does. She laughs at my jokes, brings me presents (they're normally insects, but I appreciate her effort), she keeps my feet warm and knows when I need someone to keep me company.

Apparently the O-5 is the pay grade for a LT. Col. I'm not really sure what that means. It looks like they make a pretty decent amount of money, which is pretty cool. I like that the government takes care of the personnel who have worked hard enough to earn that rank (some of them make 6000 a month--thats almost 6 figures annually!)

I think the idea of diet cola is ridiculous. Now, the reason I like diet cola is because it isn't as sweet as regular soda. I don't have much of a sweet tooth, especially when I'm eating.
But it cracks me up people who eat like a Big Mac and Fries and wash it down with a giant Diet Coke like that somehow takes away from the the hamburger--like a negative drink. Diet soda will probably be proven to cause cancer in the near future, which wouldn't surprise me in the least. I rarely drink it unless I want something fizzy to drink, otherwise I drink unsweetened Iced Tea or water. I do enjoy a glass of juice on occasion and since I'm lactose Intolerant I don't drink milk. I have trouble digesting soy milk so my milk-ish beverage of choice is almond milk.  I wouldn't recommend almond milk for drinking by itself; its tolerable in cereal but its really sweet and isn't all that good by itself.

Now that i've had a tangent long enough...have a nice day.

My Weird Fascinations

I thoroughly enjoy thumbing around on IMDB.com reading the weird trivia.

Robert Duvall is a direct descendant of the Civil War general Robert E. Lee, whom Duvall played in the film Gods and Generals. Harper Lee, the author of To Kill A Mockingbird is also a direct descendant of Robert E. Lee. Robert Duvall played Boo Radley in the film adaptation of To Kill A Mockingbird.

Christopher Reeve's attended Julliard with Kevin Conroy, who played the voice of Batman in the animated series.

Ian Mckellen wore a prosthetic nose when he played Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings series

Rachel Weisz was the first actress in history to have a leading role as a Dragon.

Meryl Streep has a deviated septum and refuses to have surgery to repair it. (Her nose looks crooked, basically). Directors get around it by avoiding direct camera shots.

In the basketball scene in Alien: Resurrection (1997) Sigourney Weaver actually made the backward over the shoulder shot on the first try. The scene was almost ruined because Ron Perlman broke character because he was so amazed.

Robin Williams and Robert De Niro were the last two people to see John Belushi alive.

Kenneth Branaugh is the youngest man to date to portray Henry V in the Royal Shakespeare Company

Natalie Portman was born in Jerusalem, Israel and is fluent in Hebrew, Spanish, French, German and some Japanese. She attended Harvard and earned a BS in Pyschology.

Christopher Lee was in the RAF during WWII. He is linked to everyone in hollywood by an average of 2.5 steps, fewer than both Kevin Bacon and Charlton Heston. He is also descendant of Italian Royalty on his mother's side. He has acted in 230 films.

Anna Paquin is fluent in French and plays the cello.

Anne Hathaway accidentally fell off her chair during her audition for the klutzy princess Mia in Princess Diaries(2001). She was hired on the spot.

Jake Gyllenhaal's godparents are Jamie Lee Curtis and Paul Newman. He recieved his first driving lesson from Paul Newman. The Gyllenhaals are of Swedish Noble descent and are listed in the Swedish Alamanac of Nobility.

Edward Norton graduated from Yale with a degree in History. His grandfather, James Rousse is often credited with being the inventor of the shopping mall.

Kate Winslet is the youngest actress to be nominated for 2 Oscars (Sense and Sensibility at 20 and Titanic at 22).

I think that's enough for now.
ENJOY!

Assassin's Creed is REAL!

So since I've got my new computer I've become kind of a blog/feed/news fanatic. I really like sitting on my computer all day and reading news from around the world while sitting in my family's bonus room and watching The Godfather on my Xbox 360.

So I was on one of my blogs

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/06/the-first-islamist-terrorists.html

In the post Sullivan descibes a sect of Islamic Assassins who lived in the Middle East during the Crusades-----which is the setting of the first Assassin's Creed game! 

"Even the most powerful and carefully guarded rulers of the age—the Abbasid and Fatimid caliphs, the sultans and viziers of the Great Seljuk and Ayyubid empires, the princes of the Crusader states, and emirs who ruled important cities like Damascus, Homs, and Mosul—lived in dread of the chameleonlike Assassin agents. Known as a fida'i (one who risks his life voluntarily, from the Arabic word for "sacrifice"; the plural in Arabic is fidaiyn, or the present-day fedayeen), such an agent might spend months or even years stalking and infiltrating an enemy of his faith before plunging a dagger into the victim's chest, often in a very public place."

The Assassin's Creed game takes place in Acre, Jerusalem and Damascus! They were even described as "chameleonlike" which is the EXACT point of the game!

While I didn't disparage the idea of Assassins existing during the Crusades, I didn't know they were completely real and there were records!

Sullivan goes further and quotes

"Perhaps most terrifying, the Assassins chose not only a close and personal manner of killing but performed it implacably, refusing to flee afterward and appearing to welcome their own swift death. Fanatical and disciplined, Hasan-i Sabbah and his successors were brilliant practitioners of asymmetric warfare. They developed a means of attack that negated most of their enemies' advantages while requiring the Assassins to hazard only a small number of their own fighters. As with any effective form of deterrence, the Assassins' targeted killings of hostile political, military, and religious leaders eventually produced a stable and lasting balance of power between them and their enemies, reducing the level of conflict and loss of life on both sides."

The assassins he describes working for a balance of power in the Middle East mirror the brotherhood of assassins in the Assassin's Creed game, which I think is totally badass. Right down the "close and personal manner of killing" (Altair gets away with some pretty impressive assassinations in public). It somehow makes me happy to think that the game I'm playing is really true...perhaps its mostly fiction but its based on FACT!

Shakespeare In Love--A problem with facts

The film Shakespeare in Love is a good chick flick. Its main theme concerns love, there is some romantic-y comedy and there is a self-affirming unhappy ending. It also tends to be entertaining enough to watch from beginning to end without going "is there anything else on".  At least for most people.

However as a History major I find the historical inaccuracies extremely distracting.

In no particular order

Issue #1:
When Will Shakespeare goes to Burbage to sell him his new play he claims that Henslowe gave him ten pounds for the play first. Burbage offers Shakespeare 2 Sovereigns with a promise of 2 more. 4 Sovereigns is equivalent to 4 pounds which is less than 10 pounds! You'd think if he wanted the play more he'd offer more for it than Henslowe!

Issue #2:
The Earl of Wessex says he is leaving for Virginia to grow tobacco. The movie is set in 1593, a time period where there would not have been a tobacco colony in Virginia. The colony was not established permanently until 1607 under James I. Sir Walter Raleigh received charter rights from Elizabeth the first to explore North America in 1585. The colony established by Raleigh was the Roanoke colony that infamously failed and had disappeared when English resuppliers returned in 1590. Even at that time they were not growing tobacco, but looking for gold and other precious metals.

Issue#3
There are two times in history that an "Earl of Wessex" has existed. The first time was in pre-normandy England where the Earldom of Wessex was a peerage of the man who would eventually become King Harold II (the same king killed during the battle of hastings in 1066). It was then passed onto William FitzOsbern where it was eventually assimiliated into the earldom of Hereford.
The earldom of Wessex was created again in 1999 for Prince Edward, the youngest son of Queen Elizabeth II. (The funny thing is that normally younger sons of English Monarchs are given dukedoms...the king and queen are promising Edward the dukedom of Edinburgh after Edward's father, Prince Philip dies. I wonder what Edward did to get this slight, since he supposed to get Cambridge or Sussex).
So obviously there was no Wessex in 1593.

Issue #4
The band playing at the party has a lutist in it who has an instrument with frets. I don't think that musicians in the 16th century had instruments with frets on them.

Besides that, good movie. for the most part. (I still think Saving Private Ryan deserved the best picture oscar for that year)


I felt like gushing. Other than that. Its a great film!